Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Query Dilemmas

I currently have two competing hooks for my query letters. They are structured very differently, as you will soon see, and I am in self-debate about which to choose.
  • When an elite Old Fleet frigate picks him up off the Meteor, Yarn, a miner conscripted into military service, is glad to be rid of the cramped destroyer-escort, its draconian commander, and the Admiralty's unjust war against the Commonwealth of Earth and Mars. But it isn't long before Yarn realizes he is outclassed by the legendary crack spacers who ply the immortal Old Fleet relics of Earth's last golden age. He must gain the respect of his crewmates, if only to remind those reclusive heroes of their abandoned peacekeeping duty, before escalating hostilities between Jupiter and the Commonwealth destroy his home.
  • Old Fleet was ever the ally of Jupiter's Jovian Union. Its ancient ships, the immortal relics of Earth's last golden age, safeguarded the Union for decades. But Old Fleet disappeared into legend, and now a new adversary threatens the Union's very existence from within: the Admiralty. Autocratic and warmongering, it has turned its bitter gaze to the rich Inner Commonwealth of Earth and Mars. Yarn, an employee of the Union's mining company, is no stranger to the monotony of the void. But, during a routine expedition to the asteroid belt, he intercepts a mysterious, encrypted transmission. Its contents plunge him into an adventure spanning the solar system – from under the thumb of the draconian Admiralty to the shining decks of Old Fleet itself, where he must remind those recluse heroes of their abandoned duty before war tears the Union apart.
Decision decisions. Focus on early or later turning points in the plot? Champion brevity or explanation?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

End of term

Progress slowed during the last three weeks. The end of the quarter brought a lot of work. But now that I'm finished with my academic commitment until January 2, I have some time to get back to what's important. I need to complete my last rewrite and query letter soon because I have an overloaded schedule for the next quarter. Four three hour grad seminars plus a readership, twice what I took during the Fall. Oh well...

Literature is beautiful. I'm working on a few snippets to add to the HAMMER. I'm also thinking of adding ambiance quotations to the beginning of each chapter.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

First words

A reader got back to me two days ago, and followed-up with a second critique. Both were by and large positive. He zoomed through the manuscript in three days, while in a foreign country and reading from printed paper.

He also shed some light on a few weaknesses. Only one approaches a major problem, and I already have a solution (it was nice knowing you, Bishop). Once I finish grading the tests and papers of my undergrads I'll be back in the cockpit, trimming and refining Jovian Hammer Draft Number Four.

I can't wait! :)